Finding Soho

Time to look ahead. Time to take the next step. Time to plan. Time to organise. Transitions have always been very difficult for me. Perhaps I overthink things and make myself more restless and nervous about transitions than I ought to, but I can't help feeling anxious about transitions. And why should this one be any different? Having said that, I know that I have grown and matured considerably over the last few years, and I cannot imagine that I will feel the same as I did the last time. I remember the last big transition very clearly. It was incredibly exciting but also incredibly nerve-wracking. It was also a time of relief, rejuvenation and rediscovery. I was and am today so grateful for it. Over the next few months, I will have to work hard. But just now, I want to take some time to reflect, take stock and express gratitude for everything. The journey ahead will be challenging but it's up to me to give it the best that I can.

After the tragedy, there is sadness. There is sorrow and there is remembrance. But all of it feels completely inadequate. It is so difficult to go on Facebook after atrocities such as this one. The words that people express and the feelings that they share are simultaneously overwhelming and inadequate. It is as if there is a shadow looming over their words. This is the shadow of uncertainty and learned helplessness. The prayers and the sorrow belie the reality of our utter helplessness in the face of violence. There is nothing that can be done about it. There is nothing new that can even be said about it anymore - all that had to be said has already been said. The prayers have been said many times before. The vigils have been held many times before. The sorrow has been expressed many times before. They say that love conquers hate. I don't believe it. I absolutely do not trust that it does. Violence seems unconquerable. Saying and doing nothing after an atrocity such as this seems

Originally published in Peril magazine.  Sometime ago this year, I received a video file in a message from my father. At first glance, it looked like an old black-and-white recording. When I opened the clip, I found it was a British news report capturing the historic moment of the 14th Dalai Lama’s arrival in India after his escape from Tibet in 1959. The year 1959 was a watershed in Tibetan history.  In 1951, the 14th Dalai Lama signed an agreement with the People’s Republic of China granting the Communist Party effective control over Tibet. The introduction of socialist reforms in the Kham and Amdo regions of eastern Tibet from 1951 onwards led to social unrest and ultimately the eruption of armed resistance in 1956. Lhasa, which was granted greater autonomy than these other provinces, was, at least in the early stages, unaffected by the reforms program and the unrest. However, after the rebellion in the eastern region was suppressed and quashed in 1957, and brutal

Dear Nani,  The last two years were a struggle for you, and for the family. Towards the end, the struggles of everyday life and the endeavour to maintain your health took over completely, and perhaps it is with this in mind that we are so blessed that when you left us yesterday you were completely at peace, completely serene. You persevered for so long, and you were loved and looked after in your time of need so well, I could not have been more proud of my parents, aunts and uncles than I am today. But yesterday, as I said goodbye to your spirit, it was not the memories of the last two years that were foremost on my mind. It was the memories of you in your prime, of you as I knew you when we were kids, that flashed before my eyes. I remembered with so much gratitude the love that you had showered on us all all through our childhood. I remembered the long summer and winter holidays with you and Nana. I remembered your bright smile, your joyful face, your laughter.  I remembered your